why gay men are so desperate?

This week Lai try to go back to the gym. He found he lost quite a bit strength due to the obvious reason. He updated his training routine, hope he can back on track soon.

Last Thursday Lai forgot to log off the website, the following morning he got more than ten msg asking for sex, mostly received around 2am to 6am, some was sent out from pretty hot guys. While Lai sent"sorry not at PC that moment", he does not understand why gay men are so desperate, when they want sex, they want it now, ASAP. As he know, these guys possibly will never answer his msg.

Friday night he got msg from one hot guy, his id made Lai laugh, called something like hung as horse :-) The profile said he is versatile, but looking for a hung top. Although Lai shagged quite a few guys with big dick, he does feel intimidated when someone keep emphasizing how hung he is, normally he will just ignore the guy no matter how hot he is.

The msg goes like...

"Sorry mate, thanks for the msg, but i think you should go for a black guy"
"I do not care the size, i know you must be very hard, i like hard dick, i bet you like to fuck a hung bottom, seeing my big dick bouncing on your stomach"
""mmm, that sounds hot, but kinda late now, maybe in the weekend if you are free"
"no, please, now, i want you inside me now... I live very close to the tube station"
"It is nearly 9 now, you need to give me notice for advance."
"PLS, i am dying for it, this is my number...."

Finally, Lai agreed. Luckily the address is only 3 stops away. Soon Lai arrived, the tall guy opened the door, in a bath robe. Once Lai got in, he loose the bath rob, "So how do you think?"
"Very nice" Lai smiled, he was kinda surprised, the guy actually is quite cute, and got very nice body..

Soon they were busy in bed, Lai know he met a very eager bottom, willing to do everything to please the top. "Man, you are good...." The guy shouted with joy. Lai really like to dominate a guy who is taller than him in bed, esp. a really good one.

Then they cuddled for a while. "Do you mind i stay here tonight? It is kinda late now"
"No, not at all" The guy gave him a kiss and asked" You do not fancy me i think"
"Why?"
"You did me doggy mostly..."
Lai was puzzled. Where does that come from? "How about I rape you late, I will do you on your back more this time, will that make up for it?" Lai asked. The guy smiled...

LOL, "very nice guy, just a little bit slutty.. "Lai think..

Terrible feeling

This week has been terrible, Lai is very ill, he got cold somehow. His nose is blocked, his throat is aching, he sweat a lot, feel cold always. And the most terrible is, when he cough, he found it is so painful, it is from the deep chest, the whole body is aching, and he can not even keep breathing...


Lai has not got flu nearly 2 years. He remember last time he struggle to recover, as most drugs sold in UK are too mild, he tried many of them, none of them work. Any good ones you have to provide prescription. Normally in China, you can buy this kinda drug everywhere, which are very effective, thus most Chinese will not bother doctors in this situation. Lai remembered last time his Chinese friend gave him some drugs which she bought from China, that worked immediately.

This time things get much worse than he expected. He lost appetite, does not have much energy, he called sick at work. Stay in his bed mostly, but it does not help. He sweat so much, even the quilt become humid. He found he is so lonely, as he even does not have anyone who is close enough to take care of him. "Damn, if i died like this, nobody will know..." He never felt so vulnerable, " if only i have someone here..."

4 days passed, nothing changed. He began to worry, "Maybe i got swine flu?" He went to the website did an online assessment, soon he was given Tamiflu. He took it, but it did not work neither. He does not have a GP in this area, as he is normally very healthy, he did not change his GP after he moved. Finally, he try to contact doctors. However, this idea was soon been put off, the woman on the phone told him"you need to register first, the earliest appointment for registration is 3 weeks later, then you can make another appointment to see GP, blablabla", Bloody fxxxing British medical system!!


He became paranoid, as he knows HIV positive early symptom is very similar to flu. So he went to sex health clinic for gay men. Guys there are extremely friendly and helpful, he did all the tests including a whole body STD test, all comes good...

So it is just a normal flu. But it is already one week now...At last he decided to call his good old mum. Lai's mum is a doctor, he did not call her early because he really did not want to worry her.

On the other side of phone, mum sounds extremely worried, blame him did not follow her advice, did not tell her early... she want to send him some drugs by FedEx, but that would be too late.... Mum also gave him some suggestion, such as open the window, drink some vinegar, gargle with some salt water.....

Finally that worked, he felt much better the following day. "God, i must lost a least 3kg in this week..." he think. "Your parents are possibly the only people who are really worried about you all the time in the whole world."

Thinking about Coming Out

Lai is thinking about coming out to his parent, as English is not his native Lanuage. He struggle to express himself, but he tried his best.

Dear mum,

The traditional Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival is coming, Like ancient Chinese poem said, “For the lonely stranger in a strange land, It is on the festival occasions when I miss my dear most.” However, this festival is the important of the important. It is Mid-Autumn Festival!

I know the red lanterns will be hung everywhere on the street, I know every family member will try to back home for reunion, I know there will be a big dinner party, I know you will be eating lunar cake while enjoying the beauty of the bright silver moon. I know you will cut a slice of the cake in advance, leave it for me. I know no matter where I am, how old I am, you are always worrying about me.

People say the round lunar cakes symbolise the best wishes for family reunion. When there is a slice missing, it is not round any more. People say when there is a family member away, the bright silver moon is not full and bright as before.

Raising my head, I see the moon so bright, same as I can remember since as a child. But this time I am all alone. Who will help you to light the lanterns this year, and who will go to see the dragon dance with you? I wish that moon of hometown is dear and bright. I wish I could eat my favourite dish you cooked once more, I wish you know my heart, will always be there with you.

Mum, I still remember the poem you taught me when I was only 5.

“The thread in the hands of a fond-hearted mother

Makes clothes for the body of her wayward boy;

Carefully she sews and thoroughly she mends,

Dreading the delays that will keep him late from home.”

People say” You should never travel long journey when your parents still alive". However, as your undutiful son, not only I travelled far, but I could not go back to you. You always ask me why , why?

Every time, I try to pick up the coverage to tell you the truth, but I know your age is not lived but survived, your are pining away ,I could not, I could not confront your eyes with expectation, how could I do this? How could I bear to hurt you more?

Mum, I wish I could bring my beautiful Japanese GF to visit you, I wish I could give you sunny smile by a new born grandson, I wish, I wish I could live next to you and take care of you forever, but… I could not.

Mum,I do not want to lie to you any more, I do not want to live double life any more. Every single day I was tortured by the same question. Mum, this is something out of my control, hope you can understand it…..

Mum, please forgive me!

Busy Week

Lai has not wanked for nearly a week, this is very rare for him, as he has quite high sex drive. He just want to see how long can he go for it. But things become tough, he felt he was going to burst. He can not concentrate on his work. When he stare at his laptop in the office, all his brain can think about is Aussie's man pussy. Lai even noticed he began to peek his female colleagues' bra when they were busy discussing. As Lai is always a gentleman, this idea made him blush. We all know straight guys may have sex with each other when they are in some circumstance, such as army and sea men. So will gay men become too desperate for sex and shag women?? Finally Friday comes, he can not wait for another minute. He met Aussie for dinner that night, they were busy flirting, even in public, some touching under the tables all made it great fun. Not mention the great pleasure Aussie offered Lai later.

Saturday Lai met a guy originally comes from mid east, V. V is a fun guy, who worked as an artist. They chatted for a while online. Lai always asking guys "What kinda date do you prefer, coffee, dinner or straight to bed?" Most guys will say coffee first. Occasionally there are someones prefer dinner. V was the only one so direct to ask for straight to bed. When Lai called him a slut about that. He answered. "I fancy you, i promise coffee and dinner later". They met near V's flat, which is extremely close to the most famous gallery in London. The place is clean, but the host seems does not live there often. V did tell Lai later that he travelled a lot.

There is not much talking, once Lai sit down, asked for some water. V's mouth was on Lai's downstairs. His tongue is so skillful. Lai's brain began to stop working, he can see people walking along the river bank from the big glass window. Meanwhile, he was enjoying the great sensation. "man... you are so good", Lai stroked V's head, his another hand reached out for V's arse.

V is a tall well-built man, he speaks in a very deep voice, although he said he moved to London nearly 20 years ago, he still has an interesting accent. V stood up, held Lai's hand and led him to the bedroom on the other side of flat. To Lai's surprise, V's arse is very very tight, Lai did not expect that at first. They struggled a little bit to get things going.

V's face was soon written full of pain.His mouth was widely opened, keep gasping for air. "easy... easy... slow" he begged. V has quite strong legs. Lai has to make some effort to hold those big meaty legs. He stop and changed to another position once he noticed V was really high, as he knows guys like that will not let you fuck them once they cum. Soon V asked to stop, "I can not take it any more, let me rest for a while". Lai did. But once it stared again. V asked for stop another time. "Please cuddle me for a while.." Then V want to ride. He sit on top of Lai and began moaning....

"Hey, you can not sit like that, i can not move at all" Lai complained, "Yes, but that is the point, i can enjoy the pleasure without the pain". "You selfish bastard" Lai joked. "I am not the selfish one, you are! i already nearly cum twice, you keep changing positions to stop it, now it is my turn to have some fun". Lai pushed him down try to attack again.. Soon V had enough," I am serious now, man, i can not take any more, not even for money. you gonna cum now or you have to wait for next time". Lai was disappointed, left with erection :-(

Sunday Lai met a cute Italian guy. who seems a really nice bloke and not into one night stands. "mmm, nice wife material.." Lai think. When they met at the tube station, Lai's was immediately blushed. He try to cover it, hope the Italian guy did not notice that. The guy was very handsome and masculine, although Lai did see his pictures before they met, but Lai did not expect that he looks that nice. They went to have some beer. Lai become a little nervous, he can not look the guy straigh in his eyes. He seem really nice guy, a little younger than Lai, but very mature and career focus, Lai is really impressed. At last, they said goodbye at the tube station."so, hope to see you again sometime" The Italian guy said."Sure" Lai answered,and gave a little spank on his bubble butt.

Lai got two funny messages recently. One for a porn audition. Another interview invitation from a famous gay escort agency. LOL, life is full of fun.

AussieBum

Lai never dated any Aussie before, but he always fancy a little bit aussiebum. Lai does know one Aussie who he chatted nearly two years. Aussie has an OK looking face, he got that kinda body which Lai is always jealous about. He is tall, about 6 feet 2. Normally tall guys , although they can be beefy, some may look slender, others may look too chunky. However, aussie has the perfect long legs, huge pecs, strong wide shoulder but a tiny little waist. Everything is so beautifully proportioned. As Lai is short, he know he will never has a body like that, no matter how hard he worked.

Aussie is in his early 40s, work as a senior manager of a big telecommunication company. He got a Japanese BF before, that is why he began to be attracted to oriental guys. When first time Lai received those pictures from aussie, he was really impressed by aussie's beautiful bubble butt. Lai can not believe a guy like aussie enjoy being topped in bed.

Gradually they become friends, chat all kinds topic and flirt to each other. Aussie used to married to a woman, and really enjoy sex with girls. Then he began to fuck guys, when he get older and older, he tend to be more passive. Aussie said partly it is because of his job. As in his work, everybody listen to him, he controls everything, but he is really stressed and tired of it, thus in bed, he like someone else to take the control, to dominate him.

Finally last week they manage to meet up. Aussie chose to have the date in a gym at central London. Lai was a little surprised, but he think that is a cool idea, maybe he can learn something training tips from aussie.

They recognized each other immediately and talked like old mates, aussie guided Lai to the gym he normally visits in weekends. It is a nice gym, much bigger than the one Lai goes. Not so many people though, maybe because it is near lunch time, and it is a Sunday. They trained chest and back that day. To Lai's surprise, aussie seems can not lift much. As he is much taller and heavier than Lai, he suppose to lift much more. However, Lai noticed aussie even struggle with some weight Lai is comfortable about. How can he get a body like that then? He must have taken something", Lai think, although aussie denied.

They heading to the shower after the workout, it is a communal shower room, so aussie was busy checking Lai 's body. However, for Lai, aussie's body is ... a little bit intimidating, his pec is so huge, those abs is so clear like someone cut it with a knife. Standing so close to a huge body like that, Lai really felt small. Especially when he noticed aussie's downstairs. "Damn", Lai think," i hope i got a body like that. Life is so unfair.."

Then they went to aussie's place, it is a small and tidy flat, Lai does not understand why aussie did not buy a big house, as he can easily afford that. But Lai know he is not there to comment about this. They did not talk much, as both of them know what they want. Soon they were busy kissing and stroking each other in the bed. Aussie is really a agreesive bottom, he moaned like a bitch in bed. For Lai, it is a big turn on, esp aussie is such a big guy. But on the other hand, Lai felt a little embarrassed, as aussie was so loud, Lai is afraid people might hear it, esp he noticed the window was open. Aussie seems did not mind it at all, he eagerly changed every possible position. "Damn, he definitely train his bum muscle as well", Lai think. Soon, both of them look like just get out of water.

After shower, aussie light up a cigarette, "Do you mind?" aussies asked ,"No, go on..." Lai does not smoke, but he think aussie looks really sexy when he was smoking. They chatted for a while, suddenly Lai asked aussie, "what kind of guy you would like to settle down with?"

"I want a wife in life, but a husband in bed" Aussie answered. Lai laughed so loud, "I do not know whether i can be a wife in life, but i definitely like to be the husband in bed." He pushed aussie down in the sofa, "Should we start Round two?"

some update

Guy "R" messaged Lai twice, "....I am high on GHB, want to join?...." Lai politely refused.

Lai shagged a slim young east European guy. His picture looks not bad, Lai is horny and really tired of wanking. After this guy MSG him again and again, Lai finally agreed, but he soon found there is not much physical attraction. The guy is far too slim and too shy, Lai even can not stay hard during the sex, it is possible one of his worst experience.

A muscular American guy messaged a few times want to meet. But he got lost on his way to Lai' s place. The following day he msg again, but Lai has no time, do not know they can manage to find another time.

Last week Lai also met a cute muscular Irish guy. Somehow Lai always like Irish guys, main reason maybe his best sex was with an Irish guy, who gave him the best blowjob, and Lai still remember how his bubble butt looks like even now. Furthermore, Lai's ex-flatmate is also Irish, very genuine nice bloke, whom Lai really adore.


That is a sunny afternoon, Lai sit in the Cafe Nero in Soho, waiting for his date while enjoy browsing hot guys around. As Lai has extremely bad gaydar, he just can not tell someone is gay or not. e.g. He always think he is the only gay in his gym, in the university as well. But when he is in Soho. Haha, he smiled, talked to himself, mmm, this guy is gay, that one must be gay as well.... Gay guys do dress differently, at least Lai can tell them apart in Soho, haha...


So Lai was there enjoy counting hot muscular guys. mmm, this one is nice, he think, that one is even better, why they all wear sun glasses and tight vest?.... when he counted to No.3. To him surprise, this guy walked straight into the Cafe, stopped in front of him. "Hi Lai, sorry to keep your waiting..." Lai did not expect that, he try to recover from his muscle guy counting game.. "I know it was you, Lai, even you are wearing sun glasses!" They talked for quite a while, walking around Soho. Even walked in a church. He is very talkative, experienced, seems a nice bloke. Lai think,"he is kinda cute, i would not mind give him a kiss.." And obviously this guy seems fancy Lai, as he keep trying to have small body contact with Lai. Lai is ok for that, but he still felt at little uncomfortable to do that in public, even it is in Soho.

After he backed home, Lai sent him a MSG on the website, but no response. Lai checked again, why he still not login the site yet?

Guy "R"

Lai chatted with "R" on a few websites. But normally after a few msg exchanged, "R" disappeared. Then suddenly he would come from nowhere, began to send msg again. Lai does not know what going on, he does not care too much neither. He just enjoy the chatting.

One day, "R" suddenly invited him to meet up. "Sure, why not, i am in my holiday now, a lot of time to kill". Lai answered.

When Lai was waiting at the station. He saw a very funky black car stopped in front of him. Lai knows nothing about cars, but he can tell this one must be rare. A guy walked out, looked at him, similing, but a little hesitated, "Do you think i am alright?" He asked. He is in his late 40s. Lai normally attracted to guys look like men instead of boys. Thus guys aged a little seems very sexy to him. However, he never hang out with someone in that age....

"R" was wearing a black shirt, tucked in his jeans, all the buttons of shirts are undone, a perfect muscular chest was fully exposed. Lai smiled and walked into the car.

They stopped at a very luxury white house. Lai had seen some nice houses before, but this one stunned him. Once get in, he noticed, there are all kinds of oil painting, and strange decoration everywhere. However, the house seems not been well looked after, you can tell the host is a little careless. Lai always has the attention to detail.

"What do you do for living if i may ask?"Lai asked. "oh, guess", "R" seems a little embarrassed. "banker? doctor? journalist? fashion designer.... " after a long list of jobs Lai can think about. "R" said, "i have some business, like property develop etc." "ah, no wander" Lai think.

Strangely "R" seems a little nervous. "You think i am alright?" he took off his shirt, try to impress Lai, "Yes, you got a nice body." " Thanks, you know i could not believe my luck" "R" said. "You are very hunky, actually i was expecting an oriental twink" ,"So you want me to leave then?" Lai teased him. "No No, please stay, let me get you some food" Soon Lai was enjoying some cocktail and cookies. Their topic soon moved to bodybuilding. As Lai expected, "R" is steroids user. But he was shocked when "R" told him that he spend more than £1000 on his personal trainer every month, nearly 4 years now.

"If my trainer trains you, or even i train you, i bet you will have huge chest like me in no time" "R" said. "Yeah, I am shy, i never talked to anyone in the gym, thus i always train by myself, even without a spotter" Lai said. It is true, if he had that sort of money, Lai definitely can do a lot things he want.

However the following topics made Lai a little restless. "R" asked him whether he used drugs for sex. Grow up, Lai is always a good kid. Do not smoke, do not drink, let alone drugs. "So what kinda drugs do you use?" Lai asked. "R" told him a long list of name, except the first one, Cocaine, Lai had never heard about the rest. "Many people use it, even my straight friends use it just for social." He try to encourage Lai. However, as Lai was educated only criminals using drugs, he found difficult to accept that, but he did know some of his friends tried drugs before. Back in university, his professor even told Lai that he once tried some drugs. Thus Lai is curious, but he is also quite scared. Aware of his hesitate, "R" joked, "Maybe you are a little bit too straight, too conservative for me".

They soon got undressed and moved to the bedroom. "R" kissed and massaged Lai gently, "This is first time, we do not need to rush to anything. Next time we can try something more fun, you know i have a chill room upstairs, if you know what i mean". On one hand, "R" is such a sweet guy, he cuddle and lay on top of Lai, kissed him for ages. On the other hand, he kept trying to persuade Lai to try drugs next time. "The sex will be ten times better, i will do all sort of things for you, you will never forget it. At least you should try it..." Thinking about all these, Lai could not perform well like usual. However, he finanlly managed not to disappointed "R".


As a boy friend is too far away to dream about it, Lai, is always thinking to find a suitable fuck buddy. He does not like sleep around. and he does believe sex can be much better once you know your partner better. "R" is a good candidate for his fuck buddy. He got nice body, very sexual experienced, seems a decent middle class guy can hold some deep conversation. Lai is curious and willing to try new experience, but he really does not know can he trust "R" or not.

That night, "R" drove Lai back, kissed him goodbye. "I am busy next week for some business, will give you a call in two weeks. we gonna meet again."

Will they? Lai doubted.