Merry Xmas Everyone

so 2009 is gone, isn't it fast? Last Xmas, Lai was desperate searching for accommodation for his new job, he travelled to London, used only one day for house hunting before he hurried back to China to visit his parents. It looks like yesterday, times really flies...

Looking back, not much achievement this year. Workwise, some progress, but a lot need to improve, gonna hunt for a new jobs after new year. Gymwise, tiny progress, bench and squat still same, very disappointing, deadlift up 20kg. gonna push harder next year.

Still no boyfriend, do not know whether he exists in this world or not. However, Lai did meet some nice people, both online and offline, hopefully next year Lai will have more gay friends.

Aussie invited Lai for his Xmas party, however, Lai is very unorganised person, he mixed up the date in his schedule, so he missed it! You can imagine how disappointed Aussie was. Lai and Aussie become quite good friends now, but it kinda feel weird, you would not shag your good friend, will you?


A married couple invited Lai to visit them on New year. And another old friend of Lai asked him to do some charity work, Lai agreed. Even though Lai can not understand why people become homeless in this country. As he always tell his British friends, in China, even you do not have hands, no legs, you still have to work! people do not complain about it, you need to support yourself. Lai do not know why these young healthy men can not take care of themselves, maybe they just need to be slapped and sent to some poorest area in the earth for a while, then they will not take things for granted.

Lai signed up for one week night shift in the center, as his friends told him they are really short of volunteers in the night. Lai has to travel one and half hour to there, and start work from 10pm to 9am every night. To his surprise, although some guests there do seems abusive or having mental problem, many of them are very polite and can hold some decent conversation...

Lai has not never drunk so much coffee in his life, normally he seldom drink coffee, but in order keep himself awake, in the first night he drunk at least 8 cups of strong black coffee, and he only managed less than 2 hours sleep once he back home, then go back to the center to start another shift...

By day 3, Lai is exhausted, he really admire some other members who has worked there for years, he even met an old lady who drove from Yorkshire to London during Xmas to help these homeless people. Lai think, our lacking of sleep may exchange one week nice warm sleep for these poor people, esp in this time of year, maybe it does worth.

It is a fun job, you can meet all kinds people, both guest and volunteers... But Lai was thinking, "can i just have one night break? i already have running nose and headache now..." However, he still insists..

so how was your Xmas? Hope you had a nice and happy one!

Hustler

Recent a few weeks, Lai got big headache from a hustler, if he could describe the guy this way. Back two months ago, Lai got msg from him on a website. He looks like pretty decent guy. On his profile, there is no face pic, only a naked man lying facing towards the wall, a perfect muscle back and bubble arse fully exposed. "mmm, very nice " Lai think...


They tried to set a date for meet, but the first time Lai was too busy, then this guy was in France to take care of his business. So they exchanged some msg occasionally flirting. At first, he behaved like a normal guy, soon Lai got some more picture from him. Although Lai did not like his face, but he has to admit, this guy got a very nice body, and seems to be a very eager bottom, which made Lai quite excited. Lai did notice something different from the backgrounds of those pictures, the guy seems come from very wealthy family, and this was soon proved by their conversation later. However, Lai is normally quite put off by people boasting their richness, esp, it is just for a casual shag. Soon, Lai noticed something strange. During the a few weeks this guy was in France, he texted Lai every night, began with flirting, then .. his full address, his drink list...Normally, ppl will not do this.

To be polite, Lai answered a few first, then he got msg, such as "Are you watching TV now? On BBC2, there is a documentary about xxxx, he is my friend, just live down the street, do you want to....." After a few "ok", "cool", Lai really lost interests to answer.

However, things getting worse day by day, he began to text and call Lai more frequently. Even after Lai decided to ingore him. Every day, at least 10 txts from him, many even at 3am in the moring.. and the content starts as "want to fuck me now?" changed to "come on", then some incomplete meaningless words. Lai thought most guys will get the idea after a few days if you do not respond him. However, this guy keep doing this for nearly two months now, every day, every morning..

Lai has a bad habit, he always forgetting his mobile at home, thus he has to check his mobile once he back home after work. Many of his friends had complained about this. But this time, this bad habit helped Lai a lot. He set his mobile in vibration mode, and try to forget it.

Now Lai seriously think to delete his profile on that site and change his mobile number ...

Apple Tree

----------------- Men-----------------------
-----------are like apples------------------
-------on trees. The best ones------------
-----are at the top of the tree-------------
-----Other men don't want to reach-----
----for the good ones because they------
-are afraid of falling & getting hurt------
-Instead, they get the rotten apples------
-from the ground that aren't as nice-----
-but easy. So the apples up top think----
--there is something wrong with them--
---when in reality they're amazing-------
---They just have to wait for the----------
-------right man to come along-----------
--------the one who is brave--------------
----------enough to climb-----------------
----------------all the----------------------
---------------way to----------------------
---------------the top---------------------




















我们都是远视眼，模糊了离我们最近的幸福

Busy Busy

Lai is so busy recently, he somehow took two jobs at same time, thus he found ife become kinda chaos, as he is not very organized person. Hopefully after Xmas things can get better.

He has to refuse some hot guys, as he really struggle to find time for his sexual pleasure. Last week he managed to meet Aussie, they had dinner together, and aussie invited him for his Xmas party.

A very hot muscluar Brazilian guy want to meet Lai, he called a few times, but because his busy schedule, Lai has to postpone it again and again.

Lai went to some famous gay club with some friends last weekend, it is never his cup of tea, as it is too noise and packed, but it is kinda fun experience. And most interesting thing is, on the night bus back home, a tall hunky Slovakia guy want to chat him up. And he was with a girl, not sure she is his girlfriend or not. As he sent her to sit at back of bus and sit besides Lai..... If Lai did not have any plan the following morning, he would not mind coming home with the hunk, as he is so Delicious. "So, do not you want to go to eat something together?" he asked. Lai smiled, "maybe next time..."

One more interesting thing happened is, occasionally he got msg from some guys who is into SM. Sometimes Lai was quite turned on by having a personal slave, as it going to kinda fun. However, he never think it seriously. But recently someone seems really keen to be his personal slave. Hahaha, Lai think, i can ask him to clean my flat then, that is great...

Problems of casual sex

As mentioned in last post, when gay men want sex, they normally want it immediately, if you responded the following day, normally they would ignore you. However, Lai like to make appointment first. He noticed these also cause a lot of problems. E.g. Last week, he has 6 guys lined up for sex. He knows some of them will not be bothered at the appointed time, as people do not give a damn about the sex date which they set online one week ago. But when things really happened, Lai does feel a little down. As normally if he is the one travelling, he always make the effort to keep his words.


E.g. A handsome muscle American guy msg Lai a few times, they soon set the date. But he did not show up and not respond to Lai's msg any more, no idea he is already back to US or whatever reason. "what a shame" thinking about that beautiful butt he missed, Lai is a little sad.
A tall muscle bottom was also very keen to meet, they flirted a lot and he want to come immediately, but Lai set a date next week. However, when the guy found out he has to travel one hour on the tube, he can not be bothered, at least he told Lai for advance.

At least some of his sex date shown up. One cute hairy British guy is actually very polite, he apologized for being late for 3 minutes. Once they sit down, Lai noticed there is another problem for this kinda casual sex. Generally Lai is a shy guy, even when he is the one who accommodate, he found it is awkward to jump straight to bed. Thus he normally prefer to chat with the guy for a while. However, once the chat is started, it goes on and on, it is just strange to change the topic back and get undressed. Gay Banker once mentioned he normally take his top off within 5 minutes once entering the room. This is a practical suggestion,but Lai just feel difficult to do it.

The British guy is a very good kisser, he sucked Lai' tongue so hard, will not let it go. He got very nice cheeky smile and hairy body, at little bit too hairy for Lai's taste. So in the middle of fucking, Lai lost his hard on. The guy is very cooperative, he change to every possible position try to get Lai's attention. They watched some porn and then Lai finished him in doggy, and shot on his back.

Another problem of this kinda casual sex is, you never know what kinda guy you will get. He might not look like his picture, then you may sent him straight home. But even he looks like his picture, once things start, there are something will bother you. E.g. Another guy Lai met, on his profile, he is very handsome, dressed as kinda CEO type. But once he showed up, Lai notice he is very shy, as he said he normally did not do casual sex. What turned Lai off is, the guy smoke, when they kissing, yuck, Lai has to avoid it.

A very good looking tall Polish guy msg Lai at night. They chatted on msn for a while, he let Lai watch him on cam. This is a very handsome hunky guy, like a male model, no wonder he sounds very cocky. His English is not good, even worse than Lai. But they can communicate well. The guy thought Lai is bottom at first, keep showing off his 9 inch dick. However Lai is not interested at all. Somehow Lai manage to talk him into the mood. Finally he said "I seldom bottom. But if you come now, you can fuck me". As it is already 11pm, although they live quite close, Lai refused. "How about Sunday ?" They set the time, but Lai did not know whether he will show up or not.

why gay men are so desperate?

This week Lai try to go back to the gym. He found he lost quite a bit strength due to the obvious reason. He updated his training routine, hope he can back on track soon.

Last Thursday Lai forgot to log off the website, the following morning he got more than ten msg asking for sex, mostly received around 2am to 6am, some was sent out from pretty hot guys. While Lai sent"sorry not at PC that moment", he does not understand why gay men are so desperate, when they want sex, they want it now, ASAP. As he know, these guys possibly will never answer his msg.

Friday night he got msg from one hot guy, his id made Lai laugh, called something like hung as horse :-) The profile said he is versatile, but looking for a hung top. Although Lai shagged quite a few guys with big dick, he does feel intimidated when someone keep emphasizing how hung he is, normally he will just ignore the guy no matter how hot he is.

The msg goes like...

"Sorry mate, thanks for the msg, but i think you should go for a black guy"
"I do not care the size, i know you must be very hard, i like hard dick, i bet you like to fuck a hung bottom, seeing my big dick bouncing on your stomach"
""mmm, that sounds hot, but kinda late now, maybe in the weekend if you are free"
"no, please, now, i want you inside me now... I live very close to the tube station"
"It is nearly 9 now, you need to give me notice for advance."
"PLS, i am dying for it, this is my number...."

Finally, Lai agreed. Luckily the address is only 3 stops away. Soon Lai arrived, the tall guy opened the door, in a bath robe. Once Lai got in, he loose the bath rob, "So how do you think?"
"Very nice" Lai smiled, he was kinda surprised, the guy actually is quite cute, and got very nice body..

Soon they were busy in bed, Lai know he met a very eager bottom, willing to do everything to please the top. "Man, you are good...." The guy shouted with joy. Lai really like to dominate a guy who is taller than him in bed, esp. a really good one.

Then they cuddled for a while. "Do you mind i stay here tonight? It is kinda late now"
"No, not at all" The guy gave him a kiss and asked" You do not fancy me i think"
"Why?"
"You did me doggy mostly..."
Lai was puzzled. Where does that come from? "How about I rape you late, I will do you on your back more this time, will that make up for it?" Lai asked. The guy smiled...

LOL, "very nice guy, just a little bit slutty.. "Lai think..

Terrible feeling

This week has been terrible, Lai is very ill, he got cold somehow. His nose is blocked, his throat is aching, he sweat a lot, feel cold always. And the most terrible is, when he cough, he found it is so painful, it is from the deep chest, the whole body is aching, and he can not even keep breathing...


Lai has not got flu nearly 2 years. He remember last time he struggle to recover, as most drugs sold in UK are too mild, he tried many of them, none of them work. Any good ones you have to provide prescription. Normally in China, you can buy this kinda drug everywhere, which are very effective, thus most Chinese will not bother doctors in this situation. Lai remembered last time his Chinese friend gave him some drugs which she bought from China, that worked immediately.

This time things get much worse than he expected. He lost appetite, does not have much energy, he called sick at work. Stay in his bed mostly, but it does not help. He sweat so much, even the quilt become humid. He found he is so lonely, as he even does not have anyone who is close enough to take care of him. "Damn, if i died like this, nobody will know..." He never felt so vulnerable, " if only i have someone here..."

4 days passed, nothing changed. He began to worry, "Maybe i got swine flu?" He went to the website did an online assessment, soon he was given Tamiflu. He took it, but it did not work neither. He does not have a GP in this area, as he is normally very healthy, he did not change his GP after he moved. Finally, he try to contact doctors. However, this idea was soon been put off, the woman on the phone told him"you need to register first, the earliest appointment for registration is 3 weeks later, then you can make another appointment to see GP, blablabla", Bloody fxxxing British medical system!!


He became paranoid, as he knows HIV positive early symptom is very similar to flu. So he went to sex health clinic for gay men. Guys there are extremely friendly and helpful, he did all the tests including a whole body STD test, all comes good...

So it is just a normal flu. But it is already one week now...At last he decided to call his good old mum. Lai's mum is a doctor, he did not call her early because he really did not want to worry her.

On the other side of phone, mum sounds extremely worried, blame him did not follow her advice, did not tell her early... she want to send him some drugs by FedEx, but that would be too late.... Mum also gave him some suggestion, such as open the window, drink some vinegar, gargle with some salt water.....

Finally that worked, he felt much better the following day. "God, i must lost a least 3kg in this week..." he think. "Your parents are possibly the only people who are really worried about you all the time in the whole world."

Thinking about Coming Out

Lai is thinking about coming out to his parent, as English is not his native Lanuage. He struggle to express himself, but he tried his best.

Dear mum,

The traditional Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival is coming, Like ancient Chinese poem said, “For the lonely stranger in a strange land, It is on the festival occasions when I miss my dear most.” However, this festival is the important of the important. It is Mid-Autumn Festival!

I know the red lanterns will be hung everywhere on the street, I know every family member will try to back home for reunion, I know there will be a big dinner party, I know you will be eating lunar cake while enjoying the beauty of the bright silver moon. I know you will cut a slice of the cake in advance, leave it for me. I know no matter where I am, how old I am, you are always worrying about me.

People say the round lunar cakes symbolise the best wishes for family reunion. When there is a slice missing, it is not round any more. People say when there is a family member away, the bright silver moon is not full and bright as before.

Raising my head, I see the moon so bright, same as I can remember since as a child. But this time I am all alone. Who will help you to light the lanterns this year, and who will go to see the dragon dance with you? I wish that moon of hometown is dear and bright. I wish I could eat my favourite dish you cooked once more, I wish you know my heart, will always be there with you.

Mum, I still remember the poem you taught me when I was only 5.

“The thread in the hands of a fond-hearted mother

Makes clothes for the body of her wayward boy;

Carefully she sews and thoroughly she mends,

Dreading the delays that will keep him late from home.”

People say” You should never travel long journey when your parents still alive". However, as your undutiful son, not only I travelled far, but I could not go back to you. You always ask me why , why?

Every time, I try to pick up the coverage to tell you the truth, but I know your age is not lived but survived, your are pining away ,I could not, I could not confront your eyes with expectation, how could I do this? How could I bear to hurt you more?

Mum, I wish I could bring my beautiful Japanese GF to visit you, I wish I could give you sunny smile by a new born grandson, I wish, I wish I could live next to you and take care of you forever, but… I could not.

Mum,I do not want to lie to you any more, I do not want to live double life any more. Every single day I was tortured by the same question. Mum, this is something out of my control, hope you can understand it…..

Mum, please forgive me!

Busy Week

Lai has not wanked for nearly a week, this is very rare for him, as he has quite high sex drive. He just want to see how long can he go for it. But things become tough, he felt he was going to burst. He can not concentrate on his work. When he stare at his laptop in the office, all his brain can think about is Aussie's man pussy. Lai even noticed he began to peek his female colleagues' bra when they were busy discussing. As Lai is always a gentleman, this idea made him blush. We all know straight guys may have sex with each other when they are in some circumstance, such as army and sea men. So will gay men become too desperate for sex and shag women?? Finally Friday comes, he can not wait for another minute. He met Aussie for dinner that night, they were busy flirting, even in public, some touching under the tables all made it great fun. Not mention the great pleasure Aussie offered Lai later.

Saturday Lai met a guy originally comes from mid east, V. V is a fun guy, who worked as an artist. They chatted for a while online. Lai always asking guys "What kinda date do you prefer, coffee, dinner or straight to bed?" Most guys will say coffee first. Occasionally there are someones prefer dinner. V was the only one so direct to ask for straight to bed. When Lai called him a slut about that. He answered. "I fancy you, i promise coffee and dinner later". They met near V's flat, which is extremely close to the most famous gallery in London. The place is clean, but the host seems does not live there often. V did tell Lai later that he travelled a lot.

There is not much talking, once Lai sit down, asked for some water. V's mouth was on Lai's downstairs. His tongue is so skillful. Lai's brain began to stop working, he can see people walking along the river bank from the big glass window. Meanwhile, he was enjoying the great sensation. "man... you are so good", Lai stroked V's head, his another hand reached out for V's arse.

V is a tall well-built man, he speaks in a very deep voice, although he said he moved to London nearly 20 years ago, he still has an interesting accent. V stood up, held Lai's hand and led him to the bedroom on the other side of flat. To Lai's surprise, V's arse is very very tight, Lai did not expect that at first. They struggled a little bit to get things going.

V's face was soon written full of pain.His mouth was widely opened, keep gasping for air. "easy... easy... slow" he begged. V has quite strong legs. Lai has to make some effort to hold those big meaty legs. He stop and changed to another position once he noticed V was really high, as he knows guys like that will not let you fuck them once they cum. Soon V asked to stop, "I can not take it any more, let me rest for a while". Lai did. But once it stared again. V asked for stop another time. "Please cuddle me for a while.." Then V want to ride. He sit on top of Lai and began moaning....

"Hey, you can not sit like that, i can not move at all" Lai complained, "Yes, but that is the point, i can enjoy the pleasure without the pain". "You selfish bastard" Lai joked. "I am not the selfish one, you are! i already nearly cum twice, you keep changing positions to stop it, now it is my turn to have some fun". Lai pushed him down try to attack again.. Soon V had enough," I am serious now, man, i can not take any more, not even for money. you gonna cum now or you have to wait for next time". Lai was disappointed, left with erection :-(

Sunday Lai met a cute Italian guy. who seems a really nice bloke and not into one night stands. "mmm, nice wife material.." Lai think. When they met at the tube station, Lai's was immediately blushed. He try to cover it, hope the Italian guy did not notice that. The guy was very handsome and masculine, although Lai did see his pictures before they met, but Lai did not expect that he looks that nice. They went to have some beer. Lai become a little nervous, he can not look the guy straigh in his eyes. He seem really nice guy, a little younger than Lai, but very mature and career focus, Lai is really impressed. At last, they said goodbye at the tube station."so, hope to see you again sometime" The Italian guy said."Sure" Lai answered,and gave a little spank on his bubble butt.

Lai got two funny messages recently. One for a porn audition. Another interview invitation from a famous gay escort agency. LOL, life is full of fun.

AussieBum

Lai never dated any Aussie before, but he always fancy a little bit aussiebum. Lai does know one Aussie who he chatted nearly two years. Aussie has an OK looking face, he got that kinda body which Lai is always jealous about. He is tall, about 6 feet 2. Normally tall guys , although they can be beefy, some may look slender, others may look too chunky. However, aussie has the perfect long legs, huge pecs, strong wide shoulder but a tiny little waist. Everything is so beautifully proportioned. As Lai is short, he know he will never has a body like that, no matter how hard he worked.

Aussie is in his early 40s, work as a senior manager of a big telecommunication company. He got a Japanese BF before, that is why he began to be attracted to oriental guys. When first time Lai received those pictures from aussie, he was really impressed by aussie's beautiful bubble butt. Lai can not believe a guy like aussie enjoy being topped in bed.

Gradually they become friends, chat all kinds topic and flirt to each other. Aussie used to married to a woman, and really enjoy sex with girls. Then he began to fuck guys, when he get older and older, he tend to be more passive. Aussie said partly it is because of his job. As in his work, everybody listen to him, he controls everything, but he is really stressed and tired of it, thus in bed, he like someone else to take the control, to dominate him.

Finally last week they manage to meet up. Aussie chose to have the date in a gym at central London. Lai was a little surprised, but he think that is a cool idea, maybe he can learn something training tips from aussie.

They recognized each other immediately and talked like old mates, aussie guided Lai to the gym he normally visits in weekends. It is a nice gym, much bigger than the one Lai goes. Not so many people though, maybe because it is near lunch time, and it is a Sunday. They trained chest and back that day. To Lai's surprise, aussie seems can not lift much. As he is much taller and heavier than Lai, he suppose to lift much more. However, Lai noticed aussie even struggle with some weight Lai is comfortable about. How can he get a body like that then? He must have taken something", Lai think, although aussie denied.

They heading to the shower after the workout, it is a communal shower room, so aussie was busy checking Lai 's body. However, for Lai, aussie's body is ... a little bit intimidating, his pec is so huge, those abs is so clear like someone cut it with a knife. Standing so close to a huge body like that, Lai really felt small. Especially when he noticed aussie's downstairs. "Damn", Lai think," i hope i got a body like that. Life is so unfair.."

Then they went to aussie's place, it is a small and tidy flat, Lai does not understand why aussie did not buy a big house, as he can easily afford that. But Lai know he is not there to comment about this. They did not talk much, as both of them know what they want. Soon they were busy kissing and stroking each other in the bed. Aussie is really a agreesive bottom, he moaned like a bitch in bed. For Lai, it is a big turn on, esp aussie is such a big guy. But on the other hand, Lai felt a little embarrassed, as aussie was so loud, Lai is afraid people might hear it, esp he noticed the window was open. Aussie seems did not mind it at all, he eagerly changed every possible position. "Damn, he definitely train his bum muscle as well", Lai think. Soon, both of them look like just get out of water.

After shower, aussie light up a cigarette, "Do you mind?" aussies asked ,"No, go on..." Lai does not smoke, but he think aussie looks really sexy when he was smoking. They chatted for a while, suddenly Lai asked aussie, "what kind of guy you would like to settle down with?"

"I want a wife in life, but a husband in bed" Aussie answered. Lai laughed so loud, "I do not know whether i can be a wife in life, but i definitely like to be the husband in bed." He pushed aussie down in the sofa, "Should we start Round two?"

some update

Guy "R" messaged Lai twice, "....I am high on GHB, want to join?...." Lai politely refused.

Lai shagged a slim young east European guy. His picture looks not bad, Lai is horny and really tired of wanking. After this guy MSG him again and again, Lai finally agreed, but he soon found there is not much physical attraction. The guy is far too slim and too shy, Lai even can not stay hard during the sex, it is possible one of his worst experience.

A muscular American guy messaged a few times want to meet. But he got lost on his way to Lai' s place. The following day he msg again, but Lai has no time, do not know they can manage to find another time.

Last week Lai also met a cute muscular Irish guy. Somehow Lai always like Irish guys, main reason maybe his best sex was with an Irish guy, who gave him the best blowjob, and Lai still remember how his bubble butt looks like even now. Furthermore, Lai's ex-flatmate is also Irish, very genuine nice bloke, whom Lai really adore.


That is a sunny afternoon, Lai sit in the Cafe Nero in Soho, waiting for his date while enjoy browsing hot guys around. As Lai has extremely bad gaydar, he just can not tell someone is gay or not. e.g. He always think he is the only gay in his gym, in the university as well. But when he is in Soho. Haha, he smiled, talked to himself, mmm, this guy is gay, that one must be gay as well.... Gay guys do dress differently, at least Lai can tell them apart in Soho, haha...


So Lai was there enjoy counting hot muscular guys. mmm, this one is nice, he think, that one is even better, why they all wear sun glasses and tight vest?.... when he counted to No.3. To him surprise, this guy walked straight into the Cafe, stopped in front of him. "Hi Lai, sorry to keep your waiting..." Lai did not expect that, he try to recover from his muscle guy counting game.. "I know it was you, Lai, even you are wearing sun glasses!" They talked for quite a while, walking around Soho. Even walked in a church. He is very talkative, experienced, seems a nice bloke. Lai think,"he is kinda cute, i would not mind give him a kiss.." And obviously this guy seems fancy Lai, as he keep trying to have small body contact with Lai. Lai is ok for that, but he still felt at little uncomfortable to do that in public, even it is in Soho.

After he backed home, Lai sent him a MSG on the website, but no response. Lai checked again, why he still not login the site yet?

Guy "R"

Lai chatted with "R" on a few websites. But normally after a few msg exchanged, "R" disappeared. Then suddenly he would come from nowhere, began to send msg again. Lai does not know what going on, he does not care too much neither. He just enjoy the chatting.

One day, "R" suddenly invited him to meet up. "Sure, why not, i am in my holiday now, a lot of time to kill". Lai answered.

When Lai was waiting at the station. He saw a very funky black car stopped in front of him. Lai knows nothing about cars, but he can tell this one must be rare. A guy walked out, looked at him, similing, but a little hesitated, "Do you think i am alright?" He asked. He is in his late 40s. Lai normally attracted to guys look like men instead of boys. Thus guys aged a little seems very sexy to him. However, he never hang out with someone in that age....

"R" was wearing a black shirt, tucked in his jeans, all the buttons of shirts are undone, a perfect muscular chest was fully exposed. Lai smiled and walked into the car.

They stopped at a very luxury white house. Lai had seen some nice houses before, but this one stunned him. Once get in, he noticed, there are all kinds of oil painting, and strange decoration everywhere. However, the house seems not been well looked after, you can tell the host is a little careless. Lai always has the attention to detail.

"What do you do for living if i may ask?"Lai asked. "oh, guess", "R" seems a little embarrassed. "banker? doctor? journalist? fashion designer.... " after a long list of jobs Lai can think about. "R" said, "i have some business, like property develop etc." "ah, no wander" Lai think.

Strangely "R" seems a little nervous. "You think i am alright?" he took off his shirt, try to impress Lai, "Yes, you got a nice body." " Thanks, you know i could not believe my luck" "R" said. "You are very hunky, actually i was expecting an oriental twink" ,"So you want me to leave then?" Lai teased him. "No No, please stay, let me get you some food" Soon Lai was enjoying some cocktail and cookies. Their topic soon moved to bodybuilding. As Lai expected, "R" is steroids user. But he was shocked when "R" told him that he spend more than £1000 on his personal trainer every month, nearly 4 years now.

"If my trainer trains you, or even i train you, i bet you will have huge chest like me in no time" "R" said. "Yeah, I am shy, i never talked to anyone in the gym, thus i always train by myself, even without a spotter" Lai said. It is true, if he had that sort of money, Lai definitely can do a lot things he want.

However the following topics made Lai a little restless. "R" asked him whether he used drugs for sex. Grow up, Lai is always a good kid. Do not smoke, do not drink, let alone drugs. "So what kinda drugs do you use?" Lai asked. "R" told him a long list of name, except the first one, Cocaine, Lai had never heard about the rest. "Many people use it, even my straight friends use it just for social." He try to encourage Lai. However, as Lai was educated only criminals using drugs, he found difficult to accept that, but he did know some of his friends tried drugs before. Back in university, his professor even told Lai that he once tried some drugs. Thus Lai is curious, but he is also quite scared. Aware of his hesitate, "R" joked, "Maybe you are a little bit too straight, too conservative for me".

They soon got undressed and moved to the bedroom. "R" kissed and massaged Lai gently, "This is first time, we do not need to rush to anything. Next time we can try something more fun, you know i have a chill room upstairs, if you know what i mean". On one hand, "R" is such a sweet guy, he cuddle and lay on top of Lai, kissed him for ages. On the other hand, he kept trying to persuade Lai to try drugs next time. "The sex will be ten times better, i will do all sort of things for you, you will never forget it. At least you should try it..." Thinking about all these, Lai could not perform well like usual. However, he finanlly managed not to disappointed "R".


As a boy friend is too far away to dream about it, Lai, is always thinking to find a suitable fuck buddy. He does not like sleep around. and he does believe sex can be much better once you know your partner better. "R" is a good candidate for his fuck buddy. He got nice body, very sexual experienced, seems a decent middle class guy can hold some deep conversation. Lai is curious and willing to try new experience, but he really does not know can he trust "R" or not.

That night, "R" drove Lai back, kissed him goodbye. "I am busy next week for some business, will give you a call in two weeks. we gonna meet again."

Will they? Lai doubted.

Guy "C"

"C" is a guy Lai recently met. Although he noticed "C"'s profile years ago. That is a small website normally for Asian guys and rice queen. Full of middle age out of shape Caucasian men. Among them, "C" is really an eye candy. There is no face picture in his profile, just a torso, a beautiful sexy man's torso, great pecs, six packs, and big biceps. Lai read the profile, mmm, "He seems a really nice guy". However, Lai sent a few messages," Hi, would you like to meet for coffee? " no response. ok, he is not interested then, fair enough.

One day when Lai was randomly browsing profiles, he noticed "C" is online, "Ah, never seen him online before", Lai sent him a msg, "hi, do you want to hook up sometime? " As Lai is normally more traditional shy guy, does not sleep around a lot, thus he seldom sent message like this. However, he did notice, the coffee approach normally only can get about 30% response,the hook up invitation almost succeed every time.

It worked again this time, two minutes later, "C" responed,"Yes, where are you? here is my number..."

When Lai waiting anxiously at the train station, this smiley tall German guy came to greet him. "Wow, you are really tall, how tall are you?"Lai asked. "I am 6 feet 4", he smiled again. At first Lai did not feel any chemistry towards "C". But soon he noticed "C" is very friendly considerate guy......

"C" bought some food and they heading to his flat. Soon Lai sitting in the couch enjoying some white wine, "C" began to feed Lai chocolate, cookies, all kind of food, but he did not talk a lot, just sit there staring at Lai, smiling. "You are even shyer than me", Lai said, "maybe", "Are you disappointed?" "No, not at all", "C" smiled again. what a sweet boy, Lai suddenly found him very attractive. "So do you mind i stay here tonight? ","No, please stay, but i have some work to do first, if you do not mind waiting for a while".

Lai normally is the shy one when he met guys, but this time he think he should make the first move to break the ice. So he said, "Don't you want to give me a hug? ""Oh, yes, I am dying for that, you know you are very cuddleable man,mmm, that feels great". Soon "C" was busy stroking Lai's chest and arms, "mmm, you are massive, so big, everywhere is so big". Lai can not help laughing, considering a 6 feet 4 guy think a 5feet 8 guy massive.

There is a old chair in the sitting room, it swing forward and backward, like a cradle. Lai sit on it, and found it very interesting and really comfortable. "C" grabbed a small stool sit in front of him, and lying on Lai' chest, put Lai's arms around him, and closed his eyes. "mmm", he said, "feels great". They swing for quite a while, "C" said, "Damn, we are already like an old couple". "What a sweet guy", Lai laughed.

As "C" has to prepare his job interview, Lai sit quietly in the corner reading newspaper, waiting, occasionally he looked up and watching "C" while he is working on his laptop. Lai found his side face looks very handsome and masculine. Lai sitting here to watching him.... Finally Lai stood up, walked towards "C", he standing behind "C", put his left hand on "C"'s shoulder.

"I am almost finished", "C" smiled, he reached Lai's left hands , began to stroke Lai's fingers carefully. Nobody has done this before, Lai's heart began to pump fast, he cuddled "C"' from behind, "you know, you are such a nice sweet guy", Lai said.

They talked quite a while, "C" said he just told his parents he might be gay, the response was not good. "C" seems even more less experienced than Lai, He still struggled to accept his sexuality. possibly only meet guys occasionally for a wank at most. when they finally heading to bed, "C" suddenly said, "I am not sure about this now, can we just cuddle naked?" Lai is a little annoyed, as he is already rock hard downstair. "I am not sure about this gay thing", "C" try to explain.

When Lai took off his top, "C" said, "Oh, you have a little belly now". "Yes," Lai said, " I told you i am bulking". Lai is naturally skinny, he also does not have big appetite, he worked very hard to put on size. However after 5 years 72kg, 10% body fat lean look, he is really tired. He hated the weight never goes up, no matter how hard he worked in the gym. Thus he tried to bulk up, force himself to eat. Soon he noticed he was making great progress. He gained a lot of size everywhere, everybody now noticed how muscular he is when he wears his t-shirt. " I do not know you do bodybuilding", his colleagues began to comment a lot.

Of course he will put on some fat as well. All bodybuilders do, they put on size at first, then they cut down to be lean. It is too difficult to achieve lean and mass at same time, after 5 years trying , Lai finally gave up. He explained this to "C", who seems did not understand, " I do not know why you want to get fat, i do not need whatever bulking.. " "yeah, maybe you have good genetic then, so you are lucky...OK then, i will send you a pic 3 months later, you will understand then". Lai promised.

All these conversation seems really does not help.."Can we just cuddle?""C" asked, Lai is not happy, "we intent to meet for sex, don't you remember? " "who said that?" "C" asked. " I messaged you for coffee a few times, you ignored me, but once i asked you for hook up, you jumped on immediately", "I think there is misunderstanding. When you message me first a few times, I was not in London. so I did not answer. I actually prefer meet guys for coffee first, know each other gradually. Anyway, there must be misunderstanding." "C" try to explain.

They decided to go to sleep, as there is a single bed, Lai has to sleep on the floor in a sleeping bad. "C" came , hugged him and gave him a kiss, "Thanks a lot to come to see me, you will not do anything to me while i am sleeping then?"

"OK", Lai laughed, "You have my words, i will not rape you when you sleep".

Lai has difficulty to sleep in a new environment. He tossed and turned a lot try to manage some sleep, he noticed "C" seems have problem too ,but both of them try to keep quiet. In early morning, Lai was woken up by the neighbour upstairs, the floor seems too thin and made a lot of noisy when someone walking. Lai got up and sit on the floor, he has to wait until 6 am for the first train back home. He sit there watching "C" sleeping. "C" turned around and sleeping on his tummy. Lai had never seen any adult men sleeping like this before. To his amusement, in gay porn, bottom guys always sleep ing like this on purpose, to invite tops to bang them. Lai smiled, "What a lovely guy. i guess he does not know that". Strangely, Lai did not think anything sexually, he just want to cuddle "C", "He is a great wife material", Lai think.

The following a few days, Lai think about "C" a lot, if he shagged "C" like other guys, he might soon forget about "C". But this time, something happened. He even did not know should he bulk like before or not. In only two days, he lost 3 kg. he did not know he should be glad or sad. If he carry on like this, he will soon back to his lean nice look, but all his bulking plan will be messed up. but if he keep following his plan, "C" will think he is fat. Lai did not know what to do now.


He decide to write "C" a message. Soon he got the reply. To his surprise,"C" behaves quite cold, he wished Lai good luck and told him, he got the job in China and will move to Shanghai this week. Lai checked his profile, yes, the location already changed to Shanghai, that is quick.

"Damn," Lai think, "That might be my future wife. Can not believe he just run away like this...Anyway,i will send him a picture 3 months later".

Guy "S"

"S" is the first oriental guy Lai slept with. Most oriental guys go for white guys, Latino guys, black guys, only except for oriental guys. Although Lai never limited himself this way, but he does seldom find himself attracted to other oriental guys. As he normally goes for muscular guys, and most oriental guys are very slim. Until he met "S".

"S" sent Lai a few messages when he was still in Thailand, Lai was not very keen at first, because "S" looks like a professional bodybuilder, too much muscle, more importantly, Lai think the pictures may be fake. One day, "S" suddenly told Lai, he moved to London now, and would like to meet. They began to chat and flirt on line. As "S"'s profile said he is a top, Lai is a little hesitated, so he tested. "If I visit you next week, how will you treat me? will you cook me dinner or offer me your arse?LOL "cheeky Lai. Soon the MSG returned, " I will cook you dinner, and you can have me as dessert." "Great answer", Lai smiled.

They met on a Sunday, "S" is also the first guy Lai dated who is shorter than him. However, Lai is very impressed by "S"'s muscle size and masculinity. To Lai's surprise, "S"is actually a British citizen, so he comes to London every three years to renew his status, this time he want to find a job and stay here.

They soon hang out like old friends, had lunch in Chinatown then headed to "S"'s place, "S" rent a small room in a house with his gay landlords. The room is so small, they have to squeeze in the single bed to browse those album of "S" ,full of pictures taken when he partied in every countries, everything single picture is full of half naked muscle man, and interestingly, "S" only like oriental guys, no matter how good looking a white guy is, he just ignored them. "why is that?" Lai asked, "Do not know, just do not find them attractive", "you are a strange guy", Lai commented.

Suddenly "S" moved closer and kissed Lai, as Lai was concentrating on those hot pictures, he did not expect that. Soon it lead to sex, but do not know why, Lai can not get hard, no matter how "S" tried to please him. "Maybe you do not fancy me then", "S" is very disappointed, "Do not be silly, i think i just wank too much this week. next time i am sure you will have good time".

It is very true, next time, Lai banged "S" nearly an hour, and they broken the single bed twice. "S" was a little worried. "what are we going to do? Do i have to buy a new bed for the landlord? i will talk to him first", "I can pay for it"Lai volunteered, as he felt guilty.

As "S" is the first guy Lai shagged who is smaller than him, Lai found there are a lot of fun he never experienced before, he can move "S" around a lot, carry him to try different positions. "You scared me", "S" complained sometimes. " there is blood coming out of my arse...". Poor "S", but Lai know "S" acutally enjoy that.

They began to meet regularly, but they soon found they do not share many common interests. all they can do is sex, go out to eat something, then back have more sex. Lai can tell, "S" is a new bottom, as he have to teach "S" what a bottom should do. and "S" seems a good student, improving fast.

Sometimes Lai get jealous, as "S" get so many messages from very hot guys on gaydar asking for sex, "why you ignore him?" "I do not like white guys, told you before", "S"answered, "man, i am dying to have sex with those kind of guys", Lai said, " I know, you are a proper slut, but you got me now", "S" joking.


"S" like Lai very much, Lai can tell, "S" try to introduce Lai to all of his friends, which Lai think a little too soon. One time, "S" has to beg Lai to go to dinner as his friends is leaving this country.
Lai does not know why, "they are not my friends, and i possibly will never meet they again in my life, why should i go to meet them? you can go there, i will wait you in the shop." But no matter what happened, finally "S" always can persuade Lai to meet all his friends, straight or gay.

when Lai was away, "S" messaged him a lot. "Love you, your wife is missing you.... "Lai smiled, "how sweet" he think. "S" will tell everyone on the phone when Lai visit him, "Oh, my husband is here today, so i can not go out with you..." Lai found that sweet and amusing.

Every time Lai visit "S", if only two of them were in the house, "S" behave normally. But if his gay landlords or someone else is there, "S" then like to show some public affection. He will suddenly sit on Lai's lap, begging for kiss like a spolied girl. Considering "S" is a very masculine man, these kinda behaviour did surprised Lai.

Gradually, they began to argue a lot. sometimes, a tiny problem will trig it. Lai noticed he is very easy to lose temper with "S", as "S" seems really know how to push the button. every time "S" is the one apologise, even the last time, "S" is back to Thailand, Lai ignored him for a few weeks, "S" still sent MSG, "I do not know why, i just miss you so much......can we still be friends?"

"Yes, of course, I will always be your friends." Lai answered, "Shame, we just do not get on." ""Really? thank you so much..."S" is very happy, he said "i will back to London in 3 years, i will look for you then".

Guy "E"

"E" is the only guy Lai had bareback sex with. As Lai is not very experienced, and very traditional guy, and he is quite frightened by some crazy things in gay sex.Why he tried BB sex ?

So why gay men have BB sex?

BB sex is hot, that is very true. If you watch some good BB gay porn, you will soon understand. Does BB sex feels physically good? or just for psychology reason? Possibly, the top feels more control of the bottom, as he can show his ownship of that butt by proudly leaving his seed. For bottom, they feels great when they can totally give themselves to the top. Of course BB sex is risky, so if you want to try, be very careful about your partner. Thus, from other point of view, sometimes BB sex is a way to show love and trust between gay men. There are quite a few real life couples in gay porn, who only do BB sex with their real partner, some even insist when the producers want them to use condom. As they only do it with their love ones, nobody else.

Lai also remembered he read the autobiography of a very famous gay bodybuilder, who had BB sex with his real life husband when they first met. He wrote, "the love is just so strong, it happened so naturally, no one mentioned that". And he wrote, "if i really got it from him, i think , i would not mind, i can die with him..."

wow, when Lai read this," That is kinda stupid, but damn romantic". He think, "when i find my man one day, i will screw him BB every single night". He laughed.


But Lai never expect his BB sex happen so quick. He met "E" on gaydar. on "E"'s profile pic, a tall naked muscle guy holding a rugby ball smiling, "he looks nice, wow, 6 feet 4, big boy"Lai think. They then chatted a few months before they finally met.

"E" work for the best college in the UK, the students normally comes from royal families . When they talking on the phone, the only thing Lai can remember is "E"'s bright and frank laugh, "he must be an optimist"Lai think.


They met in "E"'s flat, that is lovely flat, very well decorated, full of beautifully designed small gadget. There are tons of grooming products in the bathroom which can make any woman feel sorry for themselves. Damn, Lai think, "this is really a gay man's flat." "E" is a lovely guy, wearing a tight vest to show off his pec, he is possibly the best kisser Lai came across, they cuddled on the sofa shared the longest kiss Lai have ever had.

"E" is a very honest guy, he admitted immediately he take steroids to Lai, "yeah, i want to get bigger and ripped", "you are not scare of get side effects?" Lai asked, "Yes, i know, but i know what i want". he answered.

That night when they cuddle naked in bed, those kisses really lightened up Lai's libido, he turned the big guy around, rub around his backside, "No No , do not do that". "why ?" Lai asked "I just do not want to do it now""E" refused. Lai is a little disappointed, he turned around and kept silent.

After a while, "E" cuddled him from behind, "Are you angry?" "Not really, i just disappointed. i thought you liked me". "I do like you, actually i like you very much. but i just do not think we should have sex so quick".

Lai is like a spoiled child going to lose his favorite toy. He keep cold as he could.... "Alright alright, if you really want it, let's do it, but i even do not have condoms, i just did not plan for sex today. if you really want, you have to fuck me bareback".

Lai did not expect that, but the idea immediately made him rock hard. "Are you safe? ","yes, i test every two months, and i have never done BB sex before. how about you?" "Me? i have not slept with anyone nearly a year, and last time i tested, i am fine". They decided to go for it. The sex was great. It just felt so good, soon they move on the floor, then move to every single room of the flat.

The following week, Lai got message from "E". "I just come back from the doctor regular check, everything is clear, so fill me up this weekend again baby". Lai laughed. However , for some reason, except physically, Lai did not feel very attached to him, when weekend is coming, "E"will txt Lai some saucy message, then Lai head to "E"'s place to spend some great time.

One day when Lai sitting on the sofa, browsing "E"' fashion magazines, oh, yeah, "E"' collected them, everywhere, Lai was shocked at first time when he see it, although he is very arty man, but he never quite into so called fashion.

"mmm, this guy is really handsome" Lai pointed out a male model on the magazine, "which one? yeah, he is alright. actually i think you are better looking than him". "Haha, do not be silly". Lai laughed. "I am serious", "E" said, "You just need a haircut, a good one. tell you what, i will take you to the best shop have a haircut in Xmas, it is all on me".

Lai was surprised, he does not know what to say, it is only August, Is not Xmas too far to talk about? who knows what will happen at that time. However, poor Lai had never got any Xmas present after he moved to the UK. " That is so sweet", Lai think.

However, things turned downhill soon. one weekend, when Lai arrived, "E" suddenly, said "some of my friends want to meet you". Lai felt a little strange, "why? oh, they just curious., want to meet you." It was very late at night, Lai was really tired after travel, but he managed to have a good laugh with "E"'s friend. After they left, Lai told "E" do not do this anymore as he did not like it. "oh, sorry, i thought you will like meeting them, anyway, sorry about it". "E" apologized.

Then next visit. "what are we going to do this afternoon?" Lai ask, "Oh, mum will drive us to shopping center today, she live very close". "WHAT?" Lai did not expect that, he try to find some excuses to delay the shopping. But seems too late. Actually she is very nice old lady, they get on quite well. But deep down, Lai just think, "this is a little bit too much to handle".

one weekend, "E" did not txt, Lai did not come, soon they moves on.

A few months later, Lai got message from "E" again, "Hi baby, miss you, want to feel your spunk inside me". Actually that day, Lai was in very vulnerable stage, as he just been stood up by a time waster from gaydar, and he is horny as hell. Normally he will go for anyone with nice arse, but this time, instead, he said, "i am doing great, thanks".